Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Happy Wednesday!

I can't leave you with a sad story as my only Happy Wednesday post, so here is something from the Onion that is 100% true.

I can personally attest to this in my life:

  • I am woken up in the morning (8AM) by an alarm. My eyes still closed I zombie walk across the room to my telephone, which is a palm sized box dominated almost completely by a screen, open my eyes, and hit the dismiss button (an area on the screen, not an actual button) and the alarm goes off. 
  • I get dressed, say farewell to the co-bloggers, and walk to work. On the walk to work I pull out my telephone (the one that is almost entirely screen), poke at the touchscreen to see the BBC headlines of the morning and check any email. By the time I get to work I have been awake thirty minutes and spent two of them looking at a screen. Let's round that to zero.
  • I get to work and turn out the power to the computer monitor. I then spend the entire day looking at the screen of my computer, the screen of the mapping computer, or over a co-worker's shoulder at their screens when we work collaboratively. By lunch time I have been awake three hours and spent two and a half looking at screens.
  • I take a lunch break of about thirty minutes every day. I walk to Subway (or sometimes the local hamburger stand) and pull out my telephone. I put it away to order, and then spend the rest of lunch reading a book on my telephone screen. Awake three and a half hours and spent three hours looking at screens.
  • I go back to work and look at screens. I leave at 5:30 (later recently since we have been really busy, but let's say 5:30 for convenience). Awake nine and a half hours, looking at screens for nine hours.
  • I then walk home (twenty minutes), feed and litter-scoop the co-bloggers and change out of work clothes (ten minutes) and plop down in front of the computer by 6 PM. Awake for ten hours, looking at screens for nine hours.
  • Let us assume that A) I cook, which I do about twice a month, B) I go to sleep at a reasonable hour, like 11 and C) the co-bloggers are restless and demand that I exhaust them. I hate cooking and absolutely refuse to make anything that requires more than 10 minutes effort on my part. Cats are sprinters, and now that they have each other to play with all day and are well acclimated to the apartment, typically top out at twenty intense minutes of chasing string, balls and lasers. By bedtime I have been awake for fifteen hours, of which thirteen and a half (conservatively) is spent staring at screens. 
That is exactly 90% of the day spent staring at glowing rectangular boxes.

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