The Baltimore airport, in which I am spending the morning, is probably the best airport, of all those I have been in, to have the runs. Obviously, it would be best to avoid intestinal distress while travelling, or at any phase of life for that matter, but barring that, the Baltimore airport eschews the usual airport pattern of huge restrooms in favor of many smaller restrooms, some as close as one gate apart, meaning that there is always one in sight. All this means that someone with a lot of time and a lot of shit has plenty of options to find the cleanest and least busy facility.
I think, perhaps, Baltimore should consider making this their tourism slogan, in light of the general lack of merit otherwise. "BWI: The least bad place to experience diorrhea!"
BONUS: I think, perhaps, the worst part of any day is that time right between10AM and whenever mcdonalds starts serving lunch instead of breakfast.
I think the best indicator of how fantastically well off I am just to be an American is how trivial the things I have to complain about are. Though I still want a hamburger.